Springfield, IL (APE) – Stunned Barack Obama supporters waiting in anticipation of his vice presidential announcement this evening received a text message at approximately 9:30 PM Eastern time. The message was brief, consisting of only the one word “Paris”. The Obama campaign quickly confirmed that the Hilton heiress had indeed been notified and accepted Sen. Obama’s offer to become his running mate. Ms. Hilton had already flown to Springfield Illinois to meet with Mr. Obama prior to their joint campaign kickoff scheduled for Saturday at noon at the old State Capitol.
“Some of us were just as stunned as many of his supporters seem to be,” stated an anonymous Obama campaign worker. “It was a pretty gutsy move on his part and it really rubs the McCain campaign’s face in this celebrity nonsense they’re trying to float. That response ad that she came up with on her own was priceless.”
An Obama spokesperson stated that Ms. Hilton seems to have done her homework in regards to economic policy and health care. During the vetting process, concerns were raised in regards to her recent criminal record, but they were felt to be no worse than some of the offenses committed by Sen. McCain. It was also felt that her international experience was a plus.
“I know a thing or two about real estate,” quipped an excited Hilton to reporters in Springfield. “I guarantee you that I’m aware of all the houses I own, and the cars that I drive.”
“I look forward to taking on Mitt Romney,” stated Hilton of the upcoming vice presidential debates. “He is a not unattractive guy who puts a lot of stock in his Mormon faith, and I’m going to see just how far he’s willing to go with his religious principles.”