Pentagon to control Newsweek magazine.

Unconfirmedsources report Newsweek staffers to be assisted by Pentagon. By the order of the President George W. Bush “The Secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld will insure the reporting integrity of the popular news magazine.” In a statement released to the press, the Bush administration clarified it’s policy toward the American media. “Any publication that strays from patriotism to criticism of the government or its policey will be advised to just STOP IT.”

The statement went on to say, “After Newsweeks magazines failure to follow Pentagon procedures for not reporting negative news stories, something had to be done in the name of national security.” Critics are concerned about the choice of Secretary Rumsfeld to steer the news coverage of the magazine, but the Bush administration countered it was an easy decision.

Pentagon Chief and now executive editor of the publication Donald Rumsfeld is known to be a great fan of the magazine. “We know News Week can report our point of view responsibly. ” Says Mr. Rumsfeld. ” Why they did a great job supporting the administrations case during our run up to the Iraq war and up until last week the successfully ignored “the illusion of failure” that has tainted our liberation of country.”

Newsweeks Managing editor is thrilled to be working with Mr. Secretary Rumsfeld “Before we had a Bush official on our team we were never sure to have the correct opinion on the important issues. Now it’s a snap, Mr. Rumsfeld has removed our biggest challenge , it was so hard to be objective.” With Mr. Rumsfeld onboard the staffers also found their preoccupation with telling the truth was frivolous waste of time and just not required while the nation is at war.

Others on the editorial staff were less than thrilled with Mr. Rumsfelds appointment to the magazine. Mr. Rumsfeld first suggestion to rename the weekly magazine the Freedoms Newsweek was not well received. Specking off the record one junior editor commented “Of course it’s policy to agree with Mr. Rumsfeld but to be totally honest The name Freedoms Newsweek just doesn’t ring true.