New York, NY (APE) – One day after Pfizer’s announcement of a breakthrough inhalable insulin product called Exubera, rival pharmaceutical company Fizzer announced their much broader marketing scheme for their competitive inhalation package called Inebra. They will be partnering with the brewing and distillery industries to market a portable version of AWOL or “alcohol without liquid”.
AWOL is the controversial alcohol inhalation method which began in Europe, migrated to the United States and has over 20 state and local governments ready to ban it before it has even had a chance at establishing itself. Proponents state that the method provides the euphoria from alcohol on a very short-term basis with virtually zero caloric intake and none of the adverse effects of alcohol such as poisoning or hangovers. The alcohol is provided in a metered dose effect which is self-regulating in that it takes upwards of one half hour to consume the equivalent of one ounce, or, a shot of liquor. The user is also able to enjoy the “taste” and “aroma” of their favorite beverage at the same time.
A Fizzer spokesperson stated that the company was excited about the possibilities for branching into new markets and partnering with well-established and popular brands. Initial products will be limited to two popular cocktails, Jack Daniels and cola and Bacardi and cola. Talks are in the works with Absolut for an inhalable martini, and with Beefeater for an inhalable sloe gin fizz. Budweiser, Coors, and Miller breweries have also expressed interest in collaboration in the near future.
Critics complained that while decreased alcohol consumption and therefore fewer calories might lead to some marginal health benefits in regards to obesity in the far distant future, Fizzer’s product was just as dangerous in regards to intoxication and drunken-driving as the real thing. Fizzer maintains that their product has been exhaustively tested, and that this is simply not the case in laboratory settings. They, in fact, cited a number of anecdotal cases from lab workers who felt their day-to-day work was improved significantly by Inebra.
Pharmaceutical industry observers overall have been astounded by the rapidity in which Fizzer was able to acquire FDA approval and bring their product to market. Rumors have it that Fizzer was able to fast-track approval by the FDA through intervention from sympathetic Bush administration officials. Fizzer is on record as a firm Bush supporter with donations of over $300,000 to his last reelection campaign. Anonymous sources state that the president himself has taken a real interest in Inebra and is an enthusiastic supporter.