NEW YORK – “It’s unbelievable!” said Fred Gray, President of Pharmaceutical Names, Inc.
“We have hundreds of pills ready to go on the market, and we’ve run out of names! Our computers are running millions of combinations, but they all have been used elsewhere. Yesterday, we named a prescription for flat feet by the Bayer Corporation XUZERTION-SE … and we used up the last name!”
Gray said his company is considering naming prescriptions using the Navajo, Hebrew and Cyrillic alphabets.
A spokesman for Pfizer admitted that they, also, had run out of names.
“We are leaving the name blank, so those taking the medication can make up their own names,” he said.
When asked if it would prove difficult for doctors to write prescriptions without names, the spokesman replied, “It won’t make much difference, no one can read doctor’s prescriptions anyway.”