Unconfirmed sources report that The President has already decided not concede the election, no matter the outcome. Secret campaign documents and videotape leaked to Unconfirmed Sources outline The President’s plans for the post election battle for the Presidency. The complicated strategy for retaining power hinges on Mr. Bush never conceding defeat. One of the videotapes even has a prerecorded statement by The President refusing to concede.
The essence of the plan codenamed “The Kings Clothes” is simple. Deny that an election has taken place. Deny the results of the election. Question the results of the election. Make up several reasons why the election is invalid. Dispute the constitutional merits of an election. Set up an independent commission to study the election. And finally, hope that the country will forget that an election has taken place.
“This is a bold strategy. Very Bold.” Said Republican hack Bob Novak. “You have got to hand it to the President, he has go some real balls. The plan is beautiful in its simplicity and yet remains true to the way the Bush administration has done business for the last four years. I mean, just ignoring the results and going on business as usual is going to be real feat. If anybody can make a plan that involves disregarding reality work, it is The President.”
Democrats are outraged by the plan. “What they planning is a coup.” Said Terry McAuliffe chairmen of the DNC. “These guys are a bunch of crazy crooks. If they think they can get away with this they are sadly mistaken.”
“It could work.” Said long time Bush watcher Paul Krugmen. “This is just the kind of plan the Bush Administration would come up with. It sounds good and possible, but the underlying facts supporting the plan are absolute rubbish. Karl Rove and Bush’s henchmen have a good chance at making the plan work. I know, I know many people will say this is shrill. But considering the lies that the Bush Administration has put over on the American people, this stuff is just not that big a leap. These guys are experts at fudging the numbers to make everything look all right. And when they come up against a number that can’t fudge, they just ignore it. Why should the results of an election be any different?”
“Considering the success of their plan last time. I think this could work.” Said Andrew Kohut of the Pew Center. “The Bush’s have a proven track record of pulling election victories out of hat after a defeat at the polls. Look at last time. He lost the popular vote and cheated his way to a Florida victory and he wasn’t even an incumbent. He is going to be in a much better position to steal the election this time around. I think they can do it. They have a good solid plan, a good organization and absolutely no shame to get in their way.”