President Addresses War Weary Nation

Baghdad, Iraq (APE) – A struggling Iraqi President, Nuri al-Maliki, made a special television address tonight to the Iraqi people, appealing for patience with his controversial “absorption” strategy in the ongoing occupation by the Americans. The special address, was estimated to have been viewed by well over 300 people nationwide with some viewing the 15 minute speech in its entirety before loss of power.

The president appealed for a delay in the shedding of blood of American soldiers until government forces and police could be trained and armed to force the issue of withdrawal of American forces. He urged citizens to comply with relocation and deportation efforts underway to promote a safer and more tolerably segregated Iraq.

Maliki mentioned the loss of a brave tribal sheik in Al Anbar province who was just yesterday murdered in a roadside bombing, presumably by Al Qaeda sympathizers. “He killed many Americans, and he will be sorely missed,” stated Maliki.

Maliki quoted facts and figures from the Department of Defense as well as the Iraqi Ministry indicating that Iraqi casualties were down while American casualties remained the same since the implementation of his “absorption” strategy. He stated that the deaths were “a small price to pay for the eventual liberation of Iraq”

“I have met with, and you have heard from Muqtada al-Sadr”, stated Maliki, “and today I will put into place his recommendations for a step down and rotation of forces out of Baghdad. As America steps out, we will step up again.”

Maliki read a letter from the mother and father of a recent Shia car bomber. The parents thanked Maliki for the opportunity to give their sons life for what they described as the honorable goal of the eventual liberation of Iraq. “Freedom is not Free”, the parents were quoted as saying.

Maliki insisted that the war on terrorizers was ongoing and would likely continue for years after his administration, and that there likely would never be a clear victory.

Maliki faces growing discontentment from a population whose recent polling indicates that 80% want America out of Iraq immediately. He has maintained that his controversial absorption strategy is working and just needs more time.