President Bush Nearly Addresses Sheehan Protest Group

Crawford, TX (Rotters) – President George W. Bush this morning was attempting to address a crowd of supporters at his ranch and very nearly wound up addressing Cindy Sheehan’s Camp Casey antiwar activist movement. The president was out with his dog Barney for an early morning walk and noticed the arrays of crosses and tents about a mile from his ranch and made the assumption that this was the site for the pro-Bush war rally scheduled to occur later in the day.

Accompanying Secret Service agents quickly cautioned the president who then grabbed Barney and hurried away from the area and back towards his ranch compound. This, however, was not before Barney apparently accidentally desecrated one of the memorials. White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated that they had apologized to Ms. Sheehan’s camp through certain channels. “We are indeed very sorry over this incident,” stated McClellan, “Barney is a small dog with a small bladder, and he’s pretty easily startled. This was certainly not done intentionally. The president was attempting to make a surprise visit to the pro Bush camp and made the natural assumption that the much larger encampment would be in favor of him.”

The accidental desecration went unnoticed until afterwards by Sheehan supporters. An anonymous spokesperson for Camp Casey stated that no real harm was done, and that the memorial in question was quickly cleaned off. “Barney was scared, and just does what dogs normally do sometimes in that situation,” she stated, “but we all should remember that old saying about how dogs eventually come to resemble their masters.”

This latest example of a leadership void has dogged the president with an air of incompetence that has been unleashed since he was locked into and barred from leaving a press conference in Beijing last week. Bush has remained in isolation on his 1600 acre ranch on a six day Thanksgiving holiday, attempting to recover from his diplomatic vacation to Asia.

Bush is currently facing some of the most difficult times of his presidency, with Democrats and some Republicans openly questioning the facts and reasoning which led to the war in Iraq in the first place, and demanding major course changes. Secretary of state Condoleezza Rice earlier this week cited the uncovering of a secret torture bunker in Baghdad recently as positive evidence that America may soon be able to draw down some of their forces in the coming year. She stated, “I suspect that American forces are not going to be needed in the numbers that they’re there for all that much longer, because Iraqis are continuing to make progress in function, not just in numbers, but in their capabilities to do certain functions.”