President Bush Tries to Return Tarnished Legacy

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that President Bush has tried to return his legacy. The White House has apparently contacted the original maker of the legacy and requested return authorization, claiming the legacy is defective and already shows signs of premature tarnishing.

Our sources indicate the President is very dissatisfied with his legacy and claims that since the legacy is already tarnished it must have been defective from the very beginning. If the legacy he has been working on for the last years truly was defective from the start that would explain much of the problems he is now having with it.

The president has called upon supporters and administration officials past and present to try and buff up the legacy, but their efforts seem to be in vain as the President’s legacy shows no signs of improving.

“This is total bull shit!” says a very disappointed Kip Levine, of The Legacy Corporation, the original supplier of the Bush legacy. “I don’t mind telling you, I’m mad as hell about this. I have supported this president from day one and we did our best to supply him with the very best legacy money can buy. I have to tell you, when we gave it to him it was perfect. Any problems he has with it now are of his own making!”

White House officials refused to comment on the claims made by Levine.