President-elect Barack Obama urges bailout of horse and buggy industry

WASHINGTON, D.C.–President-elect Barack Obama has called for the Congress to immediately appropriate $3.2 trillion in freshly printed dollars to bailout the bankrupt horse and buggy industry.

“Horses and buggies haven’t been used in almost a century. What a shame it is that General Buggies, Inc., went bankrupt back in 1908, and hasn’t been around since. It is imperative that we get this $3.2 trillion to General Buggies, Inc.,” said President-elect Barack Obama.

General Buggies, Inc., CEO, Robin Banks, urged members of Congress to bailout his defunct company.

“You think General Motors is in bad shape? My company hasn’t been able to sell a single horse and buggy since 1908! If Congress can bailout everybody else, and Ben Bernanke can print up a few trillion dollars in a few weeks, we might as well print up a few more trillion dollars,” Robin Banks told reporters.

While most Congressmembers support the idea of printing up several trillion more dollars for bailouts, they are also expressing some level of caution.

“I am all for bailing everybody out, but we have to remember that $10 trillion here, $2 trillion there, $6 trillion over there, and pretty soon it begins to have some sort of appearance of adding up to real money,” said Congressman John Boehner.

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi disagrees.

“Now is no time for fiscally-conservative packages of only a few trillion dollars. What we need is tens of trillions of dollars poured into this economy,” said Congresswoman Pelosi.

OTHER NEWS:

Economists are predicting that as the government and the Congress continue to crash the economy with bailouts, nobody will be able to get fuel beginning some time in 2009. If this happens, this would render automobiles useless.

Congressmembers are vowing to bailout General Motors, to ensure cars that nobody can afford and use will be produced.