President-elect Barack Obama vows to enslave white people

WASHINGTON, D.C. President elect Barack Obama announced during a Sunday press conference that he would “repay” whites for slavery 150 years ago by instituting “white slavery.”

The secret FEMA/Homeland Security camps that conservatives were totally quiet about during eight years of Bush’s rule will be converted into plantations where all white people will perform slave labor.

President-elect Obama plans on creating the Office of Enslaving Caucasians, or OEC. There is no word yet on who will head up this new office. Some prospective members of the Obama administration are even suggesting that the United States be renamed to United Slavakia, as well as renaming the White House to the Black House.

Congress has formed a policy study committee to try to figure out how multi-racial people – such as President-elect Barack Obama who is part caucasian – should be classified.

“Do we enslave people who are all white, or only part white? If the criterion is just some whiteness, then this means President Obama himself would be sent to the plantation, and I might be alright with a compromise like that,” said Republican Congressman John Boehner.