President George W. Bush signs Executive Order, freezing his own assets

WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Tuesday, July 17, 2007, President George W. Bush signed an Executive Order which blocks the assets of people who are undermining peace and stability in Iraq. What President Bush didn’t expect, however, was that his own Executive Order would be used against him.

The Executive Order calls for freezing the assets of people who threaten the “peace and stability of Iraq,” or people who undermine “efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq.” The action to block assets is initiated by the Secretary of the Treasury, after consultation with the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense.

After Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates consulted with Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson, they all realized that it is President George W. Bush who is undermining peace and stability in Iraq. They unanimously concluded that, pursuant to President Bush’s own Executive Order, Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson must freeze all of President Bush’s assets.

Pursuant to the Executive Order, anybody conducting business with President George W. Bush, or anybody who actively seeks to support his policies to undermine peace and stability in Iraq, must also have their assets frozen. This has a lot of people inside of Washington alarmed over the possibility that their assets, too, will be frozen.

Some objective analysts are saying that the Executive Order would require many members of Congress to have their assets frozen, since so many of them have voted to fund President Bush’s policies of undermining peace and stability in Iraq. Already, many Congressmen are having their consultants develop excuses for their votes in favor of such policies.

Faye Kerr, a political consultant for Congressman John Kline, said, “The only reason why Congressman Kline has voted for the President’s policies is because his dog ate all copies of all bills he ever voted for, and so he wasn’t even able to read any of the bills.”

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow made a statement announcing that the White House has no statement to make.

“Concerning the freezing of the President’s assets, the statement I was directed to make is that we have no statement to make,” said Tony Snow.