President Safe: Colon Polyps not linked to al-Qaida

(WASHINGTON : Ucs News) Doctors and Homeland Security Officials have give the President a clean bill of health. Doctors had found five small growths in Bush’s colon on Saturday. The polyps were removed and none appreared to be affiliated with al-Qaida in Iraq or al-Qaida.

Spokesman Tony Snow said Monday. “We were all very concerned about the President.” According to Snow the Presidents colon is now seem as the primary front of the war of terror.

The Presidents Doctor stated “Polyps are extra pieces of tissue that grow inside the large intestine. Most polyps are not dangerous, but over time, some can become radicalized. Some Polyps may develop extremist ideologies or receive training in terrorist camps overseas.

Bush temporarily transferred the powers of the presidency to his colon during the medical procedure Saturday morning. During the 31-minute procedure, Bush was sedated with a drug called propofol.

Many close to the President are relieved that his colon is free of al-Qaida. White House staffers and Homeland Security officials demanded colonoscopy. According to one official speaking off the record “The President has been pulling this al-Qaida linked war of terror stuff from somewhere…….We thought it best to check it out.”