Unconfirmed sources report the President’s pants burst into flames today as he gave a speech at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. The incident occurred while President Bush was giving an upbeat assessment of the war in Iraq to a group of soldiers preparing to ship out. Apparently, the President’s pants spontaneously combusted for some unknown reason. The President sprinted to his secret service detail and was quickly put out. The President, while shaken, was not injured during the strange events.
“I ain’t never seen any thing like it.” Says Private Billy Joe Smith, of Texarkana Texas. “We was watching the President slobber along about Iraq when, POOF! His butt caught fire. He looked up, then looked behind himself, then took off. The guy can run like a rabbit.”
The President was rushed to a local hospital where he was examined and released. White House staffers then cancelled the President’s remaining activities for the day and the President returned to Washington.
We have shown the tape of the events to noted spontaneous combustion expert Hans Olaf for his assessment of the event.
“Well, it looks as though when the President said ‘we acted in good faith with the best known intelligence about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction