Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald Announces No Indictments for Rove and Libby in Plame Case

Unconfirmed sources report that federal investigator Patrick Fitzgerald has concluded his probe into the Valier Plame case and found no wrong doing from within The White House. The Bush administration is heaving a sign of relief this morning as several of it’s top people have escaped embarrassing indictments that could have brought down the Presidency of George W. Bush. Fitzgerald did however release an indictment of Lynndie England (private first class) for the leak. England who is already in trouble for her role in the Iraq torture scandal is already in federal custody.

“Patrick Fitzgerald has done a heck of a job investigating this case. And the President is glad that the leaker has been found.” Said White House spokesman Ben Lion. “Speaking personally, we at the White House are gratified and frankly relieved that the real leaker has been found and the cloud hanging over us has been lifted. The sun is really shining on the White House this morning.”

The nation is shocked and saddened to learn that Lynndie England (private first class) is the leaker. Many people believed England was just a fall guy for more powerful people in the military, but apparently that just isn’t true. Far from being merely an unlucky person who exercised some poor judgment, England may be the mastermind of an international plot to disrupt the American government.

This indictment rather that putting an end to the question of who made the leak actually deepens the mystery. How did England get the information? Was Plame in Iraq? Is Plame involved with the torture of Iraqi prisoners? And what about Joe Wilson? Was he involved with the torture of Iraqi prisoners during his trip to Niger? There are so many unanswered questions that many believe another investigation into the matter should be launched.

Response to the indictment of Lynndie England (private first class) has been mostly surprise as few people knew she was ever involved with the CIA.

“Bush has dodged another bullet today.” Says long time Washington watcher Al Franken. “I have to say, I though he was a gonner on this one. I thought for sure Rove and Libby were going to get it in the neck and take the President with them. No such luck I’m afraid. At least they got the leaker, that is some real good news. I just can’t believe Lynndie England (private first class) was the one, that is crazy.”

“I guess this puts an end to this mess.” Says neocon Bill Krystol. “I ‘m surprised England was involved, but I can’t say I’m surprised Rove and Libby escaped indictment. Those guys are good, real good, and anybody who thought they would get tagged for outing a CIA agent just doesn’t know how things work around hear.”