Provincetown Police Crack Down on Gays


(Provincetown, MA) Police in the predominantly gay community of Provincetown, MA announced that they are sick and tired of treating gays ‘just like everyone else’ and have secretly vowed a campaign of ruthless brutality against them.

The incident came to light this past July when untrained police officers Anthony Bova and Michael Barone went to the home of openly gay “Lost 45’s” disc jockey Barry Scott because a neighbor had complained that Scott was blasting “Seasons in the Sun” at 8PM on a Saturday night. Bova and Barone knocked on Scott’s door and beat him about the face and body.

“So, they beat up a skinny gay guy. What’s wrong with that?” asked acting Police Chief Warren Tobias. “Maybe now they’ll all move to California where they belong”.

Tobias insisted that Scott incited a riot by telling party goers that the festivities had to end early and that slamming his face into a window frame was considered reasonable force. Scott, who weighs 130 pounds soaking wet after a big meal, disputed that assertion.

“We were not resisting!” Scott insisted. “We were having a party and we ended it!”

Scott wound up with a nose laceration, contusions and abrasions on his leg, a cut to his right foot and a possible broken toe.

“You make it sound like he was hurt bad!” said Tobias. “He’ll be fully recovered a week. Ten days tops!!”

Also, Scott’s partner Bryan Richardson was taken into “protective custody” and wound up with two split discs in his back and was forced to soil his pants.

“We do need more restroom facilities in the jails”, Tobias stated. “Cutbacks, water prices etc. Just trying to save the taxpayers some money. If it’s any consolation, we don’t discriminate. We make all the prisoners wet their pants”.

Richardson was released later without being charged.

“Someday we hope to get these sissy, limp wristed fags out of this state once and for all!” said another police officer who asked not to be named.