R2-D2 Collects Mail, C-3 PO Goes Postal

Washington, DC (APE) – The National Association of Letter Carriers yesterday issued a statement in which they threatened a strike in regards to the US Postal Service’s rollout of a Star Wars advertising campaign in conjunction with the release of a new stamp recognizing the 30th anniversary of the landmark Hollywood movie series. Earlier this week the USPS showed off its R2-D2 themed mailboxes which would be appearing in thousands of locations throughout the United States, and they then, on Friday, revealed the second part of the campaign in which letter carriers would make deliveries outfitted as C-3 PO, the other popular android from the film. At that point, the NALC union immediately cried foul.

“To say that these new “uniforms” chafe would be a real understatement,” stated a spokesperson for the NALC. “We like to do our part to keep the Postal Service profitable and competitive, but this has gone too far.”

The Postal Service has endured lasting criticism over the continual rise of postal rates, as more and more people result to e-mail for communications. Revenue from an ever-expanding issuing of commemorative stamps, as well as now personalized stamps has been the only thing that has kept the Postal Service afloat according to a spokesperson for the United States Postmaster General.

“With the turnover of control in Congress to the Democrats, prospects for our proposed “e-stamp” charge for all pieces of e-mail are looking grim,” stated the postmaster general spokesperson. “It’s sad that the NALC has decided to let this little disagreement jeopardize the economic viability of the postal services, and stay them from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

The Bush administration expressed complete support for the Postmaster General and vowed that any strike initiated by the NALC would be dealt with severely, citing the grounds of national security. The NALC insisted that they would press on with their demands and accused the Bush administration of mounting what it considered a Chewbacca Defense of the Postal Service.