Rafael Palmero 1 vs. US Senate 0

There is no doubt that Rafael Palmero is a great baseball player. But this week the talented athlete showed he has also mastered the black art of Washington D.C. politics. Palmero, the well know baseball star, testified under oath in a congressional hearing that he had “never used steroids or other performance enhancing drugs.” Yet less than 6 weeks later he tested positive for the banned drugs. Positive drug test in hand , sworn congressional testimony on tape; the US Attorneys Office has an open an shut case for perjury. Think again.

Embarrassed Republican lawmakers have been forced to give Rafael Palmero a free pass. Political analyst Ben Lion explained Palmeros narrow escape from justice. “It just doesn’t look right, a drugged up professional baseball player gets busted lying to congress while the treason of Karl Rove and Robert Novak goes unpunished. If outing a CIA agent for political payback isn’t considered worthy of prosecution then ball players can shoot up whatever they want. ”

Speaking to his fans Palmero thanked all those that allowed him to go free. “First I would like to thank the US Attorneys Office for caving into political pressure and not prosecuting me, Second I would like to thank Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Judith Miller and Robert Novak, You all help remove the public stigma associated with telling lies to congress. Last but not least I would like to thank President George W. Bush. without the Presidents consent none of this corruption would be possible.

Palmero however, is not celebrating. While he escaped the justice of the US government he is still facing the ultimate justice of the Baseball commissioner. In-light of his offenses Rafael Palmero will suffer a two week suspension. Palmero has indeed shown himself a master at a great American sport and he’s also pretty good at playing baseball.