WASHINGTON, D.C. — Due to Recovery.gov creating fake Congressional districts, and all information being constantly data mined by Google, Google Maps has now been “broken,” according to Google employee Emma Spyon. Google’s algorithms were disrupted by Recovery.gov’s error. Google Maps now contains non-existent land and fictitious addresses, all the result of Recovery.gov’s actions.
Google CEO Eric Schmidt has announced a $300 million lawsuit against the federal government as a result of the “damage inflicted upon Google Maps.”
“Google Maps is no longer reliable as the result of Recovery.gov’s actions,” said Schmidt. “Recovery.gov broke Google Maps. Hopefully this issue gets resolved in the courts.”
The financial damage to Google has been estimated as being in the hundreds of millions of dollars, due to the fact that Google AdSense is synchronized with its Maps system. “It would be rather difficult for a business to profitably run ads in non-existent locations,” said one Google accountant, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Our algorithms are now entirely disfunctional.”
So far, Recovery.gov officials have not apologized for creating phantom land. While the phantom land hasn’t been erased, Recovery.gov officials were quick to take away the jobs from the phantom Congressional districts and re-assign them elsewhere. This move has engendered outrage amongst the fake people who had the fake jobs.
Faye Kerr, spokeswoman for Faux Persons in Faux Land, issued a statement condemning any effort to eliminate fake land. “I know everything is all fake, but us fake people have feelings, too. We already had our fake jobs taken away. Please don’t take away our fake land,” said Kerr.
Recovery.gov’s creation of phantom land has also created breakdowns in GPS equipment and errant flights. The FAA is taking steps to remedy the problems by seeking interagency injunctive relief.
Recovery.gov officials said they plan on switching over to reporting all of the virtual jobs that have been created in online virtual worlds, such as Second Life.