Baghdad, Iraq (Rotters) – In a very close vote, the statue of Bush the Redeemer and the mysterious ruins of the US Embassy in Baghdad were voted one of the seven wonders of the modern world. The nearly $600 million fiasco becomes the first historical ruins site to be included which is still considered ongoing. Citizens of Baghdad and terrorists alike unanimously applauded the recognition and expressed hope that this would encourage both further tourism dollars and potential hostages and targets from all over the world to come visit and explore the city and the country of Iraq.
The new list of the seven wonders of the world was generated after tallying online and text message voting from 100 million people worldwide. Other wonders making the cut included Rome’s Coliseum, India’s Taj Mahal, Peru’s Machu Picchu, Mexico’s Chichen Itza pyramid, Egypt’s Giza pyramid, and the Great Wall of China. Notable exclusions that did not make the cut included the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, and Easter Island. Indignant supporters of other candidates pointed out the duplicitous inclusion of the Great Wall of China and the Iraqi Embassy ruins as examples of failed border structures.
The statue of Bush the Redeemer towers some 710 m overlooking the smoldering borders of the Baghdad Green zone as well as the ongoing ruins of the mysterious, perpetually abandoned US Embassy. The statue, constructed entirely of granite savaged from the palaces and honoraria of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein stands as a testament to the Iraqi people of the promise of freedom and democracy, and Christian values realized.
The accompanying and ongoing ruins of the US Embassy at the same site serves as intellectual stimulation for political scientists and archaeologists alike. They mirror the eternal cycle of rape, pillage, and plunder which has continued for centuries in Iraq and other Muslim cultures throughout the Middle East. The ruins are fascinating in the fact that they are ever-changing in a regular cycle of rebuilding and disrepair through the use of indentured slavery. On the other hand, much of what is known of the mysterious structures themselves has only been pieced together through the use of computerized simulations and archaeological layouts generated by scholars.
The ruins in Baghdad pay testimony to the extremes in which many leaders will resort in acts of self preservation. Bush the Redeemer was constructed only after extensive interviews of historians over the last year as to how best portray the Bush administration presidency and legacy. It has been estimated that the money thus far spent on the ruins would pay for the construction of Giza style scaled pyramid housing units for every family in the city of Baghdad.
“We applaud the results of the voting, and are honored to be included,” stated White House spokesperson Tony Snow. “This somewhat takes away the sting of rejection over the Statue of Liberty not making the cut.”