Unconfirmed sources report that Republican law markers will introduce a new constitutional amendment allowing the burning of fags. Administration officials have been touring the county to rally support for the fag burning amendment. Speaking at a 4th of July celebration Vice president Dick Cheney said “If we don’t act on this fag burning law we will face another 911 style attack.”
Senator Bill Frist of Tennessee fresh off his victory of defeating the anti lynching bill is confident the fag burning amendment will pass into law. “We saw a great ground swell of support for outlawing gay marriage during the 2004 Presidential election, so I think we can motivate the Republican base to come out and vote for the fag burning amendment.” Republican supporters of the cause have already put fag burning laws on the ballets in 14 red sates.
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called a special election and is collecting signatures for his own version of fag burning legislation. Those close the to signature drive claim the ballot initiative is very unique as it will use a portion of that states Indian gaming revenue to promote flag burning awareness. “It’s the very model of a real public private partnership.” claimed one staffer.
Senator Rick Sanatorium Rep. from Pennsylvania said he drafted a bill to create the amendment “to end a grave threat against America”. Speaking to an evangelical Christian group in rural Mississippi Senator Rick Sanatorium said “As far as I know burning is the only proper way to dispose of an old fag”.
Many gay and lesbian groups have been protesting nationwide against the fag burning amendment. The various groups complain the amendment would be a violation of basic human rights. However the protesting voices have largely drowned out by patriotic supporters of the fag burning amendment.
Countering the human rights groups opposition Vice president Dick Cheney stated “Fag burning is a protected first amendment right and If you don’t support fag burning you must really hate America”