Unconfirmed sources report that republicans are continuing to struggle with their malfunctioning spin machine. The Spin-O-Matic 2000 used by the GOP broke down during the first debate and has never been the same. Our sources indicate that the machine is now jammed in the ‘Angry Lies’ mode and running completely out of control.
“The situation is very dangerous.” Said John Geary, President of Spin Corp., maker of the Spin-O-Matic. “The machine is absolutely out of control. We tried to fix the machine after the first debate, but the Bush Cheney Champaign officials would not let us do the job properly. The machine is locked in the ‘Angry Lies’ mode under the ‘complete desperation’ menu. I wish I could help them, but they voided the warranty and refused to let us work on it when we had the chance. Now they are paying the price.”
“I have never seen a spin machine go so bad.” Said Washington spin mister James Carville. “They are having some big time trouble. The spin that machine is putting out is just plain bad. Did you see Sean Hannity last night? He just about decked Terry McAuliffe. Sean is hooked deep into GOP spin and just can’t get out. For the sake of his family, I hope he breaks free before something really bad happens.”
Even Karen Hughes, noted Bush hatchet women, could not handle the bad spin coming of the runaway Spin-O-Matic. Last night she said, “Kerry looked very angry. I thought he might actually attack the president. I fear for the president in the company of John Kerry.” Hughes known for her ability to dish the most angry lying spin was obviously out of her element.
To add to the woes of the GOP, technicians who work on the GOP spin machine have walked off the job citing dangerous work conditions. “That baby is going to blow!” said Dirk Everret, former head technician. “It is out of control and nothing is going to save it. We tried to turn it off, but we couldn’t. It’s now running on internal power and will go until it blows up, which is going to be soon. We packed sand bags around it and have a fire crew just out side the expected blast radius, but that is all we could do. Things are going to get very ugly around here before this thing is over. I’m out of here.”