Republicans Pleased With New Bush Gas Policy


Washington, DC (APE) – Republicans see new hope for this fall’s elections as they attempt to turn the President’s problems with gas into an advantage. The president has stated that he will commit to an increasing availability of gas leading up to November’s midterm elections. Supporters of the president, however, continued to hold their breaths in a close race.

The president’s handlers stated that the problem is more one of the president’s perceived insensitivity on the issue, and one which they are finding sympathetic voters have increasing tolerance for.

A recent U.S. News & World Report article drew attention to Mr. Bush’s hidden appreciation for all things flatulent, and surprisingly, an overwhelming percentage of Republicans viewed this as a positive for him.

The White House has elected to run with the president’s newfound talents. The Secret Service has abandoned the long used acronym POTUS to represent the president for the lighter, more humorous term FLATUS. “FLATUS is down” is often uttered after one of the president’s impromptu demonstrations, and is a signal for the White House chef to begin preparing legumes.

Democratic pundits have criticized the attempts at passing the president as more of a common man. “And they have the audacity to accuse us of cutting and running,” stated Senate majority leader Harry Reid.