Republicans regain footing, nothing bad happened this afternoon

(Washington D.C.) Ucs News, Unconfirmed sources reports The Bush administration and Republican congressmen are seeing today’s spot poll numbers improve. For the first time in hours, there has not been a new scandal, staff resignation, bomb attack or other embarrassing event.

With all the things going wrong for the Republicans this week, a calm afternoon was a welcome relief from the steady steam of bad news. Karl Rove, the planner most responsible for the Republican resurgence stated, “I’m thrilled by the absence of any major screw ups this afternoon. I think this shows the party once again has it priorities in focus, at-least for a few hours.”

Reporters around the nation have very little news to report today. Mark Foley turned off his e-mail, George Allen pretty much kept his big mouth shut and Dennis Hastert refrained from shirking his duty as House Speaker. Even though Bob Woodward’s, State of Denial is this weeks best seller, the Mark Foley sex scandal buried the story. Most surprisingly, Jack Abramoff did not incriminate any more Republican senators today.

While Washington D.C. was quiet, Bill Frist, the newest supporter of the Taliban, was flying back from Pakistan. The Bush administration was happy to have Frist silent to avoid making excuses for his recent crazy talk. According to Frist, we should let terrorists join into the new government we just paid billions to have installed? Funny guy.

With the President’s polling numbers firming up in the mid thirties, White House insiders expect to see the President back on message this evening. According to Karl Rove, “The President plans to lock in the gains we made this afternoon before anything bad happens.” This could finally be a good day for the Republicans, but Karl should remember the day isn’t over yet.