RICE PROGRAMMED, AND WILL ATTEND ISLAMIC CONFERENCE


Iran ended weeks of speculation yesterday confirming that it would participate in the conference of Islamic nations in the Egyptian Red Sea resort of Sharm-el-Sheikh.

A furious President Bush told Secretary of State Rice, who indicated that she would attend, “Connie, you better not go, or you’ll get your walking papers like the rest of my rapidly disappearing bunch of advisors who didn’t toe the line!”

Rice responded by saying, ” Mr. President, I will go, and certainly, and undeviatingly, do exactly what you program me to say and do as always. After all, I am one of the few remaining staff you selected over the years who hasn’t screwed up. and…. (silently) [even though I think you’re a complete and total idiot, I know who signs my check!]….. I will echo your brilliant proposals at the meeting.”

“O.K, know I can depend on you, Connie,” Bush responded, ” Don’t forget to tell that Ahmadinejad or what ever his name is, that my navy off his coast is prepared to shell the crap out of him and his heathen people if that pig calls me a rat again!”

” Of course, Mr. President, you can depend on me to overwhelm them with your brilliance.”, assured Rice.

Dr. Rice was led off to the programming room, where she and press secretary Tony Snow, had the electrodes inserted in their skulls activated, which causes the illusion that President Bush is infallible and a utopian visionary.