Rice Reveals Topless Britney Photos are Fakes

Los Angeles, CA (APE) – The State Department today revealed that the topless photos of Britney Spears currently circulating throughout the Internet were indeed fakes, and were intended to be, as some had suspected, an April fool’s joke. A spokesperson for Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice insisted that no laws were broken and the pictures in question were a practical joke intended for the eyes of the president only.

“The president has been a long fan of Ms. Spears,” stated an anonymous White House aide. “Ms. Rice thought that it would be a great practical joke to don a blonde wig, dark glasses, and a funny looking hat to serve at the pleasure of the president. The end result was pretty convincing as you can tell.”

White House press secretary Tony Snow addressed the topless photos of Rice at today’s morning press conference, stating that the administration was relieved that the secret was now public. “You have an ongoing witch-hunt in Congress spearheaded by Senator Leahy’s conspiracy theory over missing and deleted e-mails on White House and RNC servers,” stated Snow. “there are all sorts of nefarious plots and reasons behind this that are circulating throughout the press, and the truth of the matter is, it was simply a set of embarrassing photos and a practical joke gone out of control.”

Snow went on to say that President Bush continued to have the utmost confidence in Ms. Rice, and scoffed at some critics insistence that she should resign. He urged the press to have an open mind, and consider the possibility that rather than be a detriment to current secret negotiations with Syria, the new revelations about Rice might allow relations to flower and bloom between the two countries in their shared quest for stabilization of the young democracy in Iraq.