Rick Perry's Skeletons Sue For Larger Closet

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Governor Rick Perry’s skeletons have filed a law suit claiming over crowding. Mr. Perry’s apparent neglect of his skeletons has led to many making the painful decision to leave.

“It was just terrible in there,” says a former Perry skeleton named ‘HPV’, “I just couldn’t take it any more. There were so many of us in there the conditions were terrible, we are just standing around bumping into each other, loosing bones and the racket, all that rattling! I just couldn’t take it any more so I, like ‘Niggerhead’, ‘Immigration’, and the ‘Kickback’ triplets’ got the hell out of there.”

“I’m just worried about all the other skeletons that are still being kept in Rick Perry’s closet.” says Martin Blakesdale of the Chillicothe Blade. “Even skeletons in some politician’s closet deserve to be treated better. No matter what it takes, my fellow journalists and I will work tirelessly to bring Perry’s skeletons into the light of day.”

Federal Elections officials have been notified of the unsafe conditions in the Governors closet, but claim that they have no jurisdiction in the matter. The skeleton’s lawsuit will have to continue as a civil matter.