Unconfirmed sources report Robert D. Novak has left the staff of CNN to join the Fox News Team. Media watchers were not surprised to see the move in-light of Novak’s recent troubles with the law and CNN. The real surprise is that Fox News scooped Novak from the clutches of The Evil Emperor.
In a rare interview Darth Vader spoke to the Washington Press. “I speak for the Emperor and his minions when I say we are greatly disappointed that Novak has gone to Fox News. The Emperor I and felt the Dark side of the force flowing strongly in Robert. We could have made great use of his talents in the battle between the Dark and the Light. Such a pity.”
Fans and critics of Novak agree his going to Fox is a pity. Speaking off the record Darth Maul confided “It’s good to see Robert Novak leave CNN but his going to Fox news will be a tremendous loss to the struggle of the ages.”
Fox News’ Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly are said to be thrilled at the addition of Novak to the Fox Line up. O’Reilly said on the air today. “It’s great to have Robert on board, It never made sense to have him a CNN. Now that he is fully released from any ethical hang ups he can really get to work.” Sean Hannity explained “I’m a big fan of Robert’s work. He can sure knows how to lie, deceive and disseminate. He’s a role model to all of us here at Fox News.”
Master Yoda speaking from the Dagobah system was pleased to see Darth Vaders recruiting efforts thwarted but is not happy with the end result. “Know I, that Robert Novak is a troubled man, Yes. Saw did I, the Dark side could make use of his great power, but Fox News! You have got to be kidding me.”