Robert Novak to leave CNN, CrossFire, Capital Gang: Joins Unconfirmed

Unconfirmed sources report Robert D. Novak to join staff of Unconfirmed sources. At a Washington briefing Unconfirmed Sources editor and Chief Kamal El-Din stood with Novak to answer questions about the new media venture. “We are more than proud to have Robert Novak on our team, His coverage of the Valerie Plame affair and the Swift Boat Veterans ad proves that Bob is our kind’a guy.”

“Bob and I are great friends and have a great professional relationship, Bob wasn’t upset when Unconfirmedsources voted him Tool of the year. In fact I think Bob is more proud of the Tool award than “The Daily Shows Douche Bag of Liberty designation, both are fine achievements.” Said El-Din. Novak confirmed that he is indeed proud of both achievements and believes that he can do even more with the backing of Unconfirmed Sources.

Unconfirmed Sources plans to add Novak to it’s daily features and is currently negotiating a deal with the Sirius satellite radio network. Novak speaking at the briefing said “Kamal is committed to my vision of how news and commentary should be reported, Kamal and I excited that we can join Sirius and take on Howard Stern.” Bob continued, “With the FCC off my back I will finally be free to tell the American people my version of the Truth.”

In his closing remarks El-Din stated that Novak would be a fine addition to his team. “Bob’s ability to disregard the truth, lie convincingly and avoid prosecution will make him an incredible Tool for the agenda of Unconfirmed Sources.”