Robert Uithoven, Sue Lowden's campaign manager, launches new GOP consulting firm

LAS VEGAS – Robert Uithoven, Sue Lowden’s campaign manager and consultant, has launched a new GOP consulting firm. The firm is called You’re F’ed Strategies.

The new consulting firm will focus on recruiting uncoachable and recalcitrant candidates with no cognitive skills. Their goal will be to lose as many races as possible.

“Our mission is to lose elections. That’s what we pride ourselves on. We are losers and we run losing candidates. We have no vision,” said Uithoven in a press release. “Leave it to us to be the only people on the planet who could lose to Reid.”

Sue Lowden looks to be one of the first candidates that You’re F’ed Strategies will be successful at helping get defeated. If she doesn’t lose the primary, experts are predicting that she gets badly beaten in the general.