Washington, DC (Rotters) – In a hastily arranged press conference this morning at the Department of Defense, former Marine Corporal Matt Sanchez, a.k.a. “Rod Majors” former gay porno film star and male escort, met with General Peter Pace to express his support for the general’s personal views on gay sex as “immoral”.
“I have done some things that I’m not proud of, mistakes were made.” stated Majors. “I’ve kind of come full circle to the point that I would have to agree with General Pace that my lifestyle was immoral… fun, but immoral. But, I would have to disagree with the general that gays do not have any place in the military… we’re some of the most hardened folks you’d ever want to be in close quarters with.”
“I’m just so sick of the hypocrisy of this whole thing from the “liberal left””, continued Majors. “they brand themselves as accepting, and forgiving, but they just can’t seem to let alone a few sexual indiscretions, and yes “immoral behavior” from true conservatives. The truth is that we’re only human, and gay too. I don’t know what the general might have in his past, and frankly I don’t care. If he was into gay porn like me, and by the way, he has the perfect porno name… Peter Pace… well, that’s not my concern.”
Pace publicly thanked Sanchez for his support and stated that he would be meeting with secretary of defense Bill Gates to consider further wording for a possible apology for his remarks.