(Washington) The Romney campaign has pulled out all the stops as polls show their candidate in free fall. At a press conference today Mitt Romney unveiled his newest weapon in his struggle to win the presidency, the Romney Family submarine. The re-conditioned nuclear submarine sporting sharp new paint and a full payload is sure to be a hit with the Romney Faithful. The sub is scheduled to appear dozens of campaign events and TV commercials.
The ‘Romney’, a three hundred foot nuclear powered ballistic submarine should be just the thing to help Romney counter the high flying Ron Paul Blimp and the soaring poll numbers of Mike Huckabee.
“A nuclear sub is the ultimate symbol of power.” Says campaign watcher David Brooks. “Romney needs to show he has what it takes to win the presidency and defend the country once in office. The sub is brilliant; it really will lay to rest any thoughts that Romney isn’t as tough as Rudy Giuliani. A nuclear sub is the ultimate weapon for the War on Terror. A show of force of this magnitude could easily halt the severe erosion of Romney’s poll number. “
The ‘Romney’ will be patrolling the Eastern seaboard splitting time between the New England coast and the South Carolina ahead of the coming Primaries.
The Romney campaign has indicated that ‘all options are on the table’ when it comes to the use of the ‘Romney’ to win the Republican Primary and the general election.