Rove Makes Surprise Secret Visit to Hartford, Connecticut

Hartford, CT (APE) – One day after his apparently being cleared of wrongdoing by federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, Karl Rove made a daring daylight visit to Hartford, CT. Dressed in flack jackets and full battle gear, Rove and his contingent swooped in at treetop level over the embattled city aboard Marine 1. Traveling then by armored limousine, Rove then paid a visit to bolster the fledgling independent campaign of embattled Senator Joe Lieberman.

Lieberman is faced with having his government overthrown by a rebellious Progressive Democratic insurgency which he claims has infiltrated the ranks of his ruling party. Lieberman has threatened to withdraw his troops from the Democratic Primary and establish a Guerilla Independent movement of his own in order to put down dissent within the state.

“When the President of the United States makes a commitment, he honors it,” stated Rove to a group of Lieberman loyalists gathered in the capitol. “The President has authorized whatever resources are needed to insure that a Republican anointed Democratic party is brought to the good people of Connecticut.”

Lieberman spoke at the gathering alongside the President’s top political advisor, and was appreciative of the show of support. “This insurgency will be dealt with mercilessly,” he stated. “The people of Connecticut should steal themselves for the long fight and have patience with this needless slander and mudshed which is likely to increase before it gets better. Osama ned-Lamant will be caught and punished.”

Rove spent approximately three hours in the safe Red-Light district of Hartford, during which he reviewed the phone banks, disinformation operations, and security personnel loyal to Lieberman. He then left under heavy security, returning to Marine 1, and he then reportedly returned to Washington, DC.

In a somewhat related story, former Vice Presidential Assistant Scooter Libby was wrestled to the ground after an apparent attempt to escape Federal custody today. Libby was appearing in a pre-trial hearing in regards to his role in the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Libby apparently took advantage of a lapse in security by a federal agent and attempted to blend in and escape amongst a group of youths who were marching in support of environmental concerns.

Libby’s lawyers called the charges of attempted flight “nonsense”, and chalked their client’s behavior up as “spontaneous exuberance”. No charges have been filed at present.