Rove Not Indicted, Still Under Investigation, Handed Over To Pentagon

Washington, DC (UPSI) – After indictments were handed down yesterday implicating Vice Presidential advisor I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby and clearly leaving Presidential Chief of Staff Karl Rove under suspicion, President Bush made the decision to revert the investigation back to an internal one under administration control. Bush was responding to conservative critics within his own party who have suggested that this is what should have happened from the outset of the Plame affair. After consulting with his personal counsel Harriet Miers, and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales over the legalities involved from his Camp David retreat, Mr. Bush ordered Karl Rove to report to the Pentagon for processing.

The Bush Administration anticipates that further staffers may be interrogated, as well as a number of reporters as the investigation unfolds. They formally thanked Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald for his work and service to his country in a letter and then stated that his services would no longer be needed. Mr. Rove was taken away this morning to an undisclosed location under heavy military guard. The White House then displayed a photo of Mr. Rove’s initial processing.

Karl Rove being processed at an undisclosed location

White House Spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, “The President is determined to get to the bottom of this, and put it behind the country as quickly as possible. He intends to bring the full force of the Pentagon’s intelligence gathering capabilities into play under the personal supervision of Donald Rumsfeld. We anticipate that Mr. Rove should be finished testifying and ready to return to duty within a matter of days. If Karl has something that he has forgotten or refused to divulge, we will be able to get at it.”

Mr. McClellan concluded, “As you can see, this interrogation will be complete, thorough, and left with nothing to hide. We stand behind our commitment to techniques which have been honed in the trenches of the War on Terror. This administration gets results.”

Concerned reporters forwarded the photograph to representatives of Amnesty International with the thought that this constituted cruel and inhuman behavior. A spokesperson for Amnesty International stated off the record that they were appalled and indeed did find the picture to be offensive, but that no one was forced to look at it, and had the right to just look away.