Rudy Giuliani Files for 9/11 Responder Benefits

9/11 Mayor and Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani has filed papers to receive health benefits set aside for 9/11 responders. Giuliani who was by his own account ..”was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers…” is hoping to receive Federal benefits to help defray medical costs he has incurred because of his efforts at ground zero.

“I was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. … I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. …I’m one of them.” Said Giuliani at a campaign stop. “I was working day and night at ground zero and I deserve all the cushy benefits being claimed by people who didn’t work any where near as hard as I did.”

New York Fire Fighters and Policemen have welcomed the news of Guiliani’s filings as clear evidence that he has finally realized the future dangers faced by 9/11 first responders and recovery workers.

“We have believed for a long time that Giuliani was ignoring the 9/11 responders.” says a disabled firefighter suffering from lung cancer. “But now I can rest easy knowing that Rudy is with us, and is truly one of us. I thank him for that. I thank him.”

As with all responders claiming injury Giuliani will under go an extensive health screening process to determine his eligibility. This screening is not expected to interfere with his schedule as run for President.