Rumsfeld Reaches Autistic Toddler

(Hollywood-Florida) The latest item of exotica up for auction on eBay will be a sketch of Donald Rumsfeld. That may not seem as “sexy” as an image of the Virgin Mary in a grill cheese sandwich until you consider that it was drawn by three-year-old Jane Chaucer, who is autistic. It seems that Jane had not been responding to her art therapy until she saw a recent Rumsfeld press conference. “I think it was one of those from when he was in Europe,” said proud father, Geoff Chaucer, who will be posting the drawing with a “low reserve” and “buy it now” option, “because art shouldn’t only be for the wealthy.”

“It was quite amazing,” recalled her art therapy teacher, Melanie Weller-Zanesville. “For three months, I couldn’t reach her. And I tried every media: paints, clay, play-dough. Then, her Dad had the TV on and Rumsfeld came on. Jane was transfixed. She began feeling the screen, especially the part where his glasses were. She then pointed to the charcoals, which I never thought of, and well, the rest will be on eBay.”

Jane’s father, Geoff, still finds it hard to believe. “She sat there, on the floor, in front of the TV going from Rumsfeld to her pad and back. Occasionally, she’d hold-up her thumb. And though I can’t be sure, I think she even knew what he was saying and may not have agreed with it because at one point she put up her middle finger.” Chaucer also realizes the aspect of serendipity to the incident. “We were lucky for sure because he really hasn’t been allowed to talk in public too much since Abu-Gharib.”

Calls to Rumsfeld’s office were returned with a written statement: “Secretary Rumsfeld has seen the rendering and is pleased with the image. He is especially happy that little Jane decided to be generous and leave out the gray hair.”

As is expected in the art world, there have been some critics, most notably Christo who squared off with the artist herself on the CBS Early Show: “I see no resemblance between these “lines” and Secretary Rumsfeld. This is not art. For Picasso’s sake, it’s charcoal!” The 15 minute harangue ended with “however, I am available to cover it, providing it stays covered” and an obscene Bulgarian gesture. On a related note, the FCC is still determining if they will fine CBS for the gesture.

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