West Palm Beach , FL (APE) – Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was detained tonight by US Customs officials for possessing prescription drugs without a legitimate prescription. Limbaugh was found to be carrying a number of medications, including Viagra, which he insisted was not for his own personal use. Limbaugh was returning from a trip to the Dominican Republic when he was detained.
Authorities described Limbaugh as very cooperative throughout and as such allowed him to conduct his regularly scheduled talk show from lock-up. Hundreds of loyal “ditto heads” phoned in with pledges of cash, netting almost $200 for the evening. While Limbaugh was unable to make bail, he was released anyway.
The highlight of the evening was when Limgbaugh insisted that a particular caller was in reality a Mr. Mike Stark, and he accused him of setting him up for the arrest. Limbaugh insisted that the sheriff’s department contact Fox security and have the caller investigated.
Limbaugh described his experience for his listeners as “Very realistic”. He cited TV’s “Law and Order” as being a fairly accurate portrayal of what happens to celebrities who become chronic substance abusers.
Limbaugh’s characteristic cigar was absent, and he stated that it had been confiscated along with the Viagra. He urged listeners not to interpret anything into this, saying, “Sometimes a cigar really IS just a cigar, and the Viagra isn’t really mine.”