Iranian’s were up in arms yesterday as Russian contractors began dismantling it’s nuclear reactor at Bushehr after the government of Vladimir Putin accused the government of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of failing to pay it’s monthly installments. 7,456 tractor trailer trucks lined up outside the facility as workers with sledge hammers and screwdrivers began removing reactor components for return to the former Soviet Union or for sale to the highest bidder, several of whom were standing around outside the facility’s gate, just in case.
As assorted Ayatollahs muttered darkly in the background, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told assembled reporters, “Allah be praised, it’s just a bank screw up, I swear. I put the check in the mail myself last week. If my Russian friends will just be patient, I will go down to my branch personally and withdraw the money in cash and bring it right to the Russian embassy in Tehran. I know this isn’t the first time we’ve fallen a bit behind, but I had an illness in the family, my kid wrecked the car, I had to replace my roof and college tuition and dorm costs are killing me. I took a second on my house and that money should be coming through as soon as we close…next Tuesday at the latest…worst, Wednesday.”
Russian financiers were less than impressed with President Ahmadinejad’s flurry of excuses. A spokesman for Russia’s nuclear power agency, Neutrons R Us, said, ” While we cpmpletely trust the Iranian government on the whole, more or less, Ahmadinejad himself has had a spotty credit history at best. I mean, his Equifax report is all over the place. We’d like to help of course, but until he (Ahmadinejad) gets on some sort of credit counseling plan, our hands are tied.”
While the exact overdue amount is somewhat hazy, with 120 million dollars being used as a working estimate, calls to President Ahmadinejad’s bank revealed that he had just $27.86 in checking and $354.89 in a joint super saver account. Until a hefty deposit is made, workers vow to continue to dismantle the half built facility. To add to President Ahmadinejad’s woes, a spokesman for the Bushehr Zoning Board has hinted that if any more of the facility is removed, Ahmadinejad may have to reapply for an amended building permit.