San Francisco City Council Bans Segway Jousting

Unconfirmed sources report that the San Francisco City Council has voted to immediately ban the new sport of Segway Jousting. The ban has taken the thriving community of San Francisco Segway Jousters by complete surprise. The Council called the new sport “A danger to players and the general public at large.” Several members of the group, including Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, have vowed to fight the ban.

“I can’t believe they did it.” Says Segway jouster Ben Simmons. “The ban on Segway jousting is totally unconstitutional. We are adults engaging in a sport. What’s wrong with that? I think the Council is wrong on this and is trying to stamp Segway jousting as so sort of sick power grab.”

The San Francisco City Council released a brief statement regarding the ban on Segway jousting. The statement noted that the city had outlawed jousting several years ago and that while the participants where not riding on horses Segway jousting was still jousting and thus fell under the previous ban.

The sport of Segway jousting was pioneered by several former members of the San Francisco Segway Polo Club. This small group had became bored with polo and went looking for another sport to play on their Segways. When the group started holding regular Segway Jousting tournaments interest in the sport exploded. There is even talk of a national Segway Jousting circuit.

“Jousting was a natural progression from polo.” Explains Steve Wozniak “Jousting and polo are both sport played by mounted riders so we gave it a try. I have to tell you jousting wasn’t our only mounted sport attempt. We also tried Segway dressage, which people found too boring and Buzkashi, which is the national game of Afghanistan. It’s like polo but you use a dead goat instead of a ball.”

Members of the San Francisco Segway Jousting Club are holding a Segway rally and tournament next Tuesday in the Golden Gate Park to protest the ban.