Alaska Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin admitted today that she has strong sexual and romantic inclinations towards 52-year-old German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
“I admit, she makes me hot”, Palin revealed in a candid interview. “She’s the most powerful woman in the world. She has achieved greatness in Germany beyond what any man there has ever achieved. And she has HUGE knockers!”
Palin denies being a lesbian or having any bisexual tendencies but is willing to make an exception for Merkel. She claims it is not a gender issue so much as she admires Merkel’s grit, determination, strength of character and natural life force.
“She has all the qualities I’m looking for in a man. It’s a shame she’s NOT a man”, Palin lamented with a wink and a smile.
Palin claimed that if Merkel was a man she would leave her husband Todd “in a New York minute”.
“Todd’s a nice guy and all but he’s a oil field worker for Christ’s sake”, Palin vented. “And he likes to run around in snowmobiles like a stupid little kid. I want someone who can stimulate me not only physically but also intellectually”.
Ms Merkel did not seem to share in Ms Palins enthusiasm for a relationship. “I believe she’s that little tart that spends too much on clothes and trips for her children at American’s taxpayers expense”, Merkel stated through an interpreter. “I think she should be in jail. I can’t believe Americans would be stupid enough to vote for her and that sick old man (Arizona Senator John McCain)”.
Despite Merkel’s stern rebuke, Palin said she would not give up in her attempts to have sex with the Chancellor.
“I just want to try it once”, Palin stated. “Bi-curious is not the same as bi-sexual!”