(Sept.19, 2008) Todd Palin, husband of Republican VICE presidential candidate Sarah Palin, has chosen to ignore a subpoena issued by the bi-partisan Alaska State Senate Judiciary Committee investigating that state’s “Trooper-gate” scandal, saying the committee, which is made up of three Republicans and three Democrats, is engaged in a partisan witch hunt. The witch hunt is investigating whether Ms. Palin acted like a vindictive bitch in the firing of her sister’s ex-husband, former public safety commissioner Walt Monegan.
Todd Palin is one of a dozen or so witnesses called to testify in the Alaska Trooper-gate scandal. This Committee and it’s investigation is not to be confused with the three ethics complaints that have been filed with the State Personnel Board, which attorneys for Governor Palin are saying they are cooperating with by refusing to testify before as well. That board is made up of three totally other people, one of which Gov. Palin just appointed to a six year term this past January, and is expected to be far less partisan since it’s made up entirely of Republicans.
While initially saying she would cooperate with any investigations, Ms. Palin is now refusing to, citing the fact that as a Republican VICE Presidential candidate she’s, “above all that petty Alaska legal shit”, or words to that effect. Republican Presidential candidate John McCain apparently agrees with her, as his campaign is sending a slew of lawyers in parkas up to Anchorage to quash any investigation that may reflect badly on his perky running mate. His legal team is attempting to stall the results of any investigation until everybody involved has been dead for fifty years, or at least until enough people can be paid off to find her guiltless, whichever comes first.
Newly named Unnamed McCain Campaign Spokesman, Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, a former Bush Administration Unnamed Source, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “Look, I know a lot of Democrats, and even some sane Republicans, are gonna start saying that this smacks of Bush/Cheney style politics as usual, that the McCain campaign is just a continuation of the culture of corruption that has so infected the GOP in the last eight years…all that bullshit, to which I say, ‘so what?’. I mean, what’s wrong with the last eight years? You point to just one thing that’s gone wrong during the Bush term. Go head, point to just one.”
When this reporter pointed out that starting with the theft of the 2000 election, the last eight years have seen the Enron scandal, a failure of security in the 9/11 attacks, faulty intelligence being cherry picked to start an illegal war against a sovereign nation, the vindictive naming of a CIA operative, millions of jobs shipped overseas, a massive rise in the amount of insured, a national debt spiraling out of control and the mortgage meltdown that’s led to the current stock market crisis, Waterhouse, still speaking anonymously, said, ” That’s like, ten things. See? You can’t even name just one. I rest my case.”