Satirical Web Sites Endorse President Bush En Mass!

Unconfirmed sources repot that a large group of the most influenceial satire web sites have come out in support of President Bush. The group which includes Unconfirmed Sources, The Borowitz Report, The Onion, and many others made the announcement at a press conference after an industry wide gathering called to decide this important issue. “It was a tough call.” said Unconfirmed Sources editor Kamal El-Din. “But I think that we reached a decision that we can all live with.”

The gathering of satire web site editors took place over the weekend in Washington D.C. and was by all accounts well attended. Dozens of editors worked for long hours over the two-day conference to hash out this difficult issue. The Onion’s Assistant Editor and charismatic leader Amie Barrodale confirmed the difficultly in making the decision to back Bush. “It really was a hard decision to make. We spent much of the time in small working groups trying hard to weigh The President’s and the challenger’s positions on the big issues. We tried hard to dispense with the classic labels of moron, liberal, psychopath and the like and tried to get at the essential core each of the candidates. We also did a fair bit of soul searching ourselves to understand our decision.”

Barrodale makes it sound like the meeting went smoothly with lots of reasoned discourse, but others in the group admit that the debates where often heated and acrimonious. Andy Borowitz, of the Borowitz report spoke of the conflict inside the meeting. “It was hard work. We are working hard and making progress. It wasn’t easy and we didn’t make this decision lightly. But I have to say that America is safer because Sadam Hussein is behind bars, I mean it was hard work. We were working hard…”

I’m a little ashamed to admit it.” Confessed group spokesmen Kamal El-Din, Editor Of Unconfirmed Sources. “But it all came down to money. Yes, money. We all agreed that George W Bush and Dick Cheney are scum buckets, but we also agreed that we need them. The satire business has been great ever since these nut jobs took office and we like it. We are afraid that if Kerry wins some of us will go out of business. Sure Bush is bad for the country, bad for the environment and bad for world peace, but he sure is good for political satire.”

The joint communiqu