Unconfirmed sources report that world famous satirist Chuck Terzella will be going to jail for not revealing his secret White House source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse. Terzella was found to be in contempt of court for not reveling Wegman’s identity to a special prosecutor investigating the White House leaker who exposed the ‘Burnt Waffle’ affair. Terzella was clapped in irons and taken to prison where he will be rooming with Martha Stewart.
It was a dramatic scene in court today as Terzella stood his ground before Federal Court Judge Will Fuljerk. Judge Fuljerk demanded that Terzella give up Waterhouse but Terzella refused. “You can clap me in irons, you can send me to Guantonimo Bay but I will never give up my source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse!”
The Judge found the defendant to be in contempt and ordered that he be taken into custody. Officers swarmed Terzella as he made a break for it. After a protracted fight, it took a dozen officers to subdue him, Terzella was hauled out of the court room. As he was dragged from the courtroom he yelled. “I will never give you up Pudgy! I will never give you up!”
White House spokesmen Ben Lion spoke to reporters after the tumultuous hearing. “Terzella is obviously a man of conviction and he must be respected for that. The President himself would dearly like to know the identity of the leaker in the ‘Burnt Waffle’ affair. If we ever find out the identity of the leaker, Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, he is going to be in big trouble.”
Kamal El-Din, editor of the web site Unconfirmed Sources, feels responsible for Terzella’s plight. “I let the stories run. I didn’t take the time to check his sourcing, or his spelling for that matter, and now he is paying the price. Chuck is a good man and I hope that he gets out of the stockade without having to give up Waterhouse’s identity.
“It ain’t all bad.” Says Terzella from prison. “Martha Stewart is here so the chow is pretty good.”