Scientists Claim Comet Hartley 2 Is Alive!

Scientists examining the weird comet Hartley claim the comet is a living breathing organism with some rather disheartening digestive habits.

“We have been unable to explain until now what this comet is so odd”, said Tim Larson of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. “The only logical conclusion we can come up with is that this comet is a living creature!”

Larson pointed out that the comet does not follow a straight trajectory as other comets do but tens to fly around “like a knuckleball”. Also the comet belched out prodigious amounts of carbon dioxide and water and tends to hurl chunks.

“It would appear the comet ate something that didn’t agree with it”, Jenson continued. “This comet has a belching end, which spews out a small amount of CO2 and a farting end, which expels a tremendous amount of CO2,, water, chunks of debris and other gases. I wouldn’t want to be downwind of that thing when it farts and blows chunks!”

Jenson stated that this comet may not have traveled throughout the cosmos for billions of years as other comets have but came to the stage rather recently. He said scientists have not yet been able to peer inside the creature to find its dietary habits.

“We know it eats something!” he continued. “That supply of CO2 has to be constantly replenished. And what it eats is most probably carbon based — like people!”

Though many scientists agreed with Jenson’s remarkable claim others were skeptical. “It’s just a funny comet”, said UCLA researcher Jeffrey Pfluger. “We’ll figure it out pretty soon and make Jenson eat his words!”

“If the comet doesn’t eat him first!” Jenson said with a wink.

Scientists claim there is no chance of the comet hitting Earth unless it changes its mind and comes back for us.