Scientists Warn of Dangers of Solar Energy

Scientists working with the Exxon-Mobil Corporation have disclosed that excess use of solar energy could cause the climate to destabilize and result in massive global freezing.

“You see, the energy from the sun naturally comes down, hits the ground then bounces back into the atmosphere, thus keeping our planet warm”, said Exxon-Mobil engineer Dr. Richard Coquin. “If you capture that energy then you are essentially causing the planet to cool and this could result in a massive ice age!”

Coquin said that using renewable energy such as solar power could be devastating to the planet. He described a worst case scenario in which excess solar energy usage caused the oceans to freeze up and every living thing, with the exception of a few millionaires buried deep underground with food and resources, would perish. It would take a hundred or so years for the planet to replenish its solar stockpile and become habitable again.

Some scientists expressed skepticism with Exxon-Mobil’s ideas. “Even if we made the entire planet solar dependent we would be capturing such a tiny percentage of sunlight it’s not even measurable”, said Harvard University professor Johan Duchsack.

Harvard University officials immediately censored Duchsack and suspended him for one year without pay as they have considerable investments in Exxon-Mobil.