Senate passes bill to bailout rescue Las Vegas gamblers

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Senators debated a $3 trillion bailout rescue package for Las Vegas gamblers, hoping this would shore up the ailing Las Vegas economy.

U.S. Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) read a letter from a Las Vegas casino executive cashier, who was fired for embezzling corporate funds laid off due to the economic recession slowdown. Las Vegas has been one of the hardest hit cities, due to its collapsing real estate market.

By bailing out rescuing Las Vegas gamblers, this will encourage more people to gamble in Las Vegas, thus giving Las Vegas casinos a needed boost. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson has said that this should help the Las Vegas economy rebound and reposition itself on solid footing.

The bailout rescue plan calls for the U.S. Treasury to buy up gambling debt certificates from insurance companies, investors, and the casinos. Gambling debt certificates are virtual I.O.U.’s from high-rolling gamblers that casinos either have on their balance sheets, or have re-packaged into gambling debt securities and have sold to other firms, such as AIG.

Economists are saying that this bill goes a long way towards creating more liquidity in the casino and insurance industries.

“With these rough economic times, these gambling debt securities have become illiquid, since many gamblers just do not pay up. This bill goes a long way towards revaluing these illiquid assets upwards again,” said Risky Ventures, Inc., economist, Ike N. Steele. “It is also imperative that Congress pass regulations to prevent these casinos from extending gambling credits to such a risky pool of people.”

“Over the years, I have amassed huge gambling debts. My wife left me, and I had to stop paying my mortgage payments on my mansion,” explained a well-known former NBA basketball star who at one time played with the Phoenix Suns, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Thanks to lawmakers in Washington, I won’t have to worry about making my mortgage payments, nor paying my gambling debts. For a while, I really thought the mafia’s casino’s collection agents were going to have me killed make me pay up.”

Without the bailout rescue plan being passed, many analysts are saying that almost everybody in the Las Vegas casino industry would be laid off.