Senator Elect Scott Brown Resting Comfortably After Vicious Mugging

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Scott Brown, the upset winner of the Senate seat formerly held by Ted Kennedy, has been mugged while visiting the Capital. The attackers, numbering at least four, knocked Brown to the ground and then took his wallet. Strangely, the attackers left the wallet including the cash when they fled the scene. The only item missing from Senator Brown’s wallet was his health insurance card.

The assault took place in a parking garage next to a trendy Washington eatery, after a welcome dinner thrown by fellow GOP Senators. Brown was able to call police after the attack and is now resting comfortably from minor injuries at Walter Reed Hospital.

“Senator elect Brown is going to be just fine,” says spokesmen Sid Plumbertin. “Scott has a few bumps and bruises, but is going to make a full recovery. We are lucky to have the finest doctors in the world here at Walter Reed Hospital and they have told Scott to just take it easy for a day or two. Scott says he will not let this incident stop him from doing the business of the people.”

Brown won a surprise victory in the Massachusetts Senate election by running on the promise to defeat The President’s plans to overhaul the U.S. health care system.