71-year-old Arizona senator John McCain firmly denied today that he is suffering from dementia and may be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.
“There is absolutely no truth to that terrible rumor that I have…that thing that people say I have”, the senator stated at a late afternoon press conference.
The senator abruptly ended the press conference so he could meet and greet his supporters. He approached an attractive blond woman sitting next to him.
“Hi, I’m John McCain”, the senator greeted the woman.
“Yea, I know. I’m Meghan McCain. Your daughter”, the blond woman replied.
Campaign staffers claim that McCain is in excellent mental health and the simple wear and tear of the campaign trail is making him tired.
“He will be sharp as a tack in the morning”, said campaign council Trevor Potter. “He just needs rest”.
Some doctors claim that McCain seems to be suffering the effects of ‘sundowning’, a condition defined as late day confusion caused by dementia. Others doctors claim that Mcain is acting as any man of his years would considering the amount of stress he’s under.
“It’s not Alzheimer’s or dementia”, said Dr. Suzanne Connolly, McCain’s personal physician. “He’s simply suffering some mild PTSD from his days as a POW in Vietnam. Even if he does have some mild form of dementia, that shouldn’t prevent him from carrying out his duties as president”.
Before McCain made his exit he walked into the ladies room and urinated on the floor, much to the embarrassment of the women standing there.
“I meant to do that”, McCain claimed.