Senator Scott Brown's Assailants Arrested

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed sources are reporting that suspects are in custody for the mugging of Senator elect of Massachusetts, Scott Brown. Brown was attacked several days ago and his health insurance card was stolen. The suspects Scott Brown, Linda Brown and their two children were arrested earlier today when the family attempted to use the stolen insurance card to seek medical treatment.

The second Scott Brown and his family appeared in the emergency room at Massachusetts General Hospital and attempted to obtain care for Linda Brown, who is suffering from an undisclosed chronic medical condition. Alert personnel at the hospital realized the insurance card was stolen and quickly called the police.

“We got ’em,” says Police Chief Carbon P. Igness. “People seeking care with stolen insurance cards is a growing problem and solving such a high profile case is going to make people think twice about seeking medical care when they can’t afford it legally. I’m just glad we caught these people before they struck again.”

Motivation for the crime seems clear as friends of the family explained that both the Browns have recently become unemployed and lost all their health insurance coverage.

Linda Brown was admitted to the hospital under guard while Scott Brown and the children were taken into custody.

As Brown was being led away in cuffs he was heard to say “All I wanted was my senator’s healthcare plan.”