LAS VEGAS – Unconfirmed Sources has learned that the defeated senatorial candidate Sharron Angle was detained by Department of Homeland Security officials early this morning due to being a rogue terrorist who advocates the violent overthrow of the government. All of the money raised by her PAC was confiscated by DHS officials.
Sharron Angle was taken into custody earling this morning. The current admnistration is considering a plan to deport Mrs. Angle to Burkina Faso, compelling Angle to run her PAC entirely from overseas.
Because of the predicament Sharron Angle has found herself in, her PAC has launched a new phase of fundraising. The PAC has sent out the following letter in its direct mail campaign:
URGENT: FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION! WE SWEAR THIS IS REAL! THIS IS NOT A SCAM!
After consulting with the law firm of Ike N. Steele and Emma Faye Kerr, I have been advised that I must take an immediate course of action for the sake of our PAC.
In case you are unaware, the United States has slipped into a hellish police state which I completely ignored as the Bush administration was setting it up piece by piece. Due to an out-of-control federal government, the USA PATRIOT Act which I supported, and a vindictive administration, I have been informed that, unless I depart the country within 24 hours, I will be imprisoned because every possible future opponent of mine is so very afraid of my gaffe prone tongue and cognitive deficiency.
The President of my country – Barack Obama – has already signed the vesting order, calling for the seizure of all PAC assets and funds. Fortunately, most of the PAC money is stashed away in safe, offshore accounts. The sum total of the offshore accounts is in excess of $10,000,000.
In order for me to access these PAC funds, I first need to flee the country. Before I can do that, I have been instructed that I must first raise $100,000 to bribe DHS officials.
If you can be of assistance by donating $100,000 to my agent, Mr. Ngobe Ngayaka in Nigeria, then please forward all of your personal and financial information in an email. It can be addressed to BankWireTransfertoBribeDHSOfficials@BankWireTransferforNgobeNgayaka.com. If you can be of assistance you will be rewarded with 50% of the aggregate value of my offshore accounts.*
*This is NOT real. This is satire. DO NOT SEND YOUR PERSONAL AND FINANCIAL INFORMATION TO ANYBODY. BESIDES, THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY HAS YOUR PERSONAL AND FINANCIAL INFORMATION. However, do feel free to donate to Sue Lowden’s campaign debt relief.