Shuttle Adventures, Death Takes A Holiday, Intelligent Design For Idiots And Flour Bombs: Unconfi…

Hey, Ya Wanna See My Rocket?:

Shuttle astronaut Steve Robinson spacewalked to remove a piece of cloth-like material from the bottom of the space shuttle Discovery. Described as two pieces of gap filler, with The Gap logo plainly visible on the material, the removal was originally planned to take as long as an hour, but was accomplished within minutes. Mission Control specialists are still trying to figure out which astronaut was responsible for the pair of woman’s low rise soft nylon trim hipster panties and scoop stretched tee shirt top, as well as a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold that was found later in the cargo hold.

Go Ahead, Take The Rest Of The Day Off:

World leaders are shaking theirs heads in envy at the unprecedented amount of vacation time United States President George W. Bush has taken. Since Mr. Bush took office he has spent nearly twenty percent of his presidency away from the Oval Office, or the Round Room as Mr. Bush refers to it. Leaders of the world’s other nations stand in amazement that while working only eighty percent of the time, President Bush has managed to physically destroy one country, economically destroy another and scare the crap out of every other one on the planet, all in the name of God and Freedom. Just think what he could have accomplished if he had worked full time.

George Bush Says- God Made Me Do It:

As if that’s not enough, President Bush is calling on schools to teach competing theories to Evolution, such as Intelligent Design (ID) and Pagan Black Magic. The Evangelical President has said that the wonders of the universe just can’t be explained without inserting a Creator into the picture. Proponents of ID, or IDiots as they refer to themselves, reject the concept that living creatures may have been made by God to be capable of adaptation, as adapting to a changing situation goes against everything they believe in. Personally, I’d hate to think God is responsible for George W.. Bush and the Evangelical Christian Movement; I mean, if George Bush is made in the image of God, then what hope do any of us really have in this life or the next?

It Was Bound To End In Tears:

And finally, Hamdi Issac, the suspected London Tube bomber being held in Rome, has said that he only put flour in his bomb, rather than gunpowder, saying the whole thing was just a prank. The impish trickster went on to say that he fled across Europe after the bomb went off not because he was a Terrorist trying to escape justice, but rather because he was afraid his mum would kill him when she found out there wasn’t enough flour left in the pantry to make the biscuits. “You don’t know Mum,” he was quoted as saying, “Once, when I was ten, she locked me in the garret for two weeks just cause I tried to bugger her pet budgie. She can be a hard woman.”